Off to a bad start with a three hour delay in Atlanta on Air Jam. Arrived at Montego Bay at 7:00PM and another problem - our large Pullman was a no show. Filled out the paperwork and hurried to the Super Clubs desk where everyone was milling around waiting for their resort buses. We got on ours at 7:30 and arrived at Braco just before 8:30. It was a bad ride in that the bus had bad shocks and the driver was talking with riders up front and nearly rear ended someone.
Glad to arrive. Had our first Dirty Banana in hand within five minutes of arrival! Checked in and got to our AN room and hurried off to Victoria’s Market for a quick dinner. Got there five minutes before they closed and, “no problem mon.” Great food and caught the entertainment too.
Back to the room to prepare for the PJ party. Holly was surprised that I would wear my Statue of David apron, acquired in Italy last spring. Nothing on underneath. She wore her “I’m too sexy for my...butt cheeks” tee shirt. On the way into the disco Carl and Tyrone were laughing at my apron and welcomed me in. The outfits were fairly conservative. Five women and seven men (three being one act - men dressed as women) including me, were singled out for the dance off. Among the men, I didn’t have a chance. The other men were great dancers and showmen. The women dancers were all totally sexy. I’d say the winners deserved to win.
Day One. Friday. The weather was perfect, although it was a little windy. Played bocci on the beach. We stunk but met nice people. Went to Nanny’s for jerk pork and chicken. Excellent! Got our nails done and just relaxed after that. Our lost bag arrived at 3:00PM. Ya mon! After visiting a party in one of the Yahooligan’s room, went to the Street Party. Good food and tons of fun dancing, but it was sooo hot.
Day Two. Saturday. Enjoyed breakfast every day and the omelets are excellent. Back to the beach for a little snorkeling early on the AN side. And we laid on a raft in the pool to get some sun. Well, a little too much sun today. A little burned on the back and butt. We should have pre-tanned. Had our first meal of lamb chops at the pool bar. Fantastic! Played in the Treasure Hunt and won a bottle of rum! Started playing some water volleyball and met some great couples. Even Holly (from Raleigh) joined in. She loved playing. Went to the Japanese for a great meal. I ate everything on the menu! Sat with a nice couple from Knoxville (Deana and Sean.). Went to the casino night and Holly won a tee shirt for finishing second in black jack. Got our toga sheets at 10:00 and hurried to the room to assemble them. They came out great. Not too big of a showing but had fun anyway. We love dancing and look at it as a great way to work off some of the good food. It was funny seeing people with toga’s on over their clothes. What’s up with that?!
Day Three. Sunday. Started to find a shady spot by the pool in the AM now. Spent most days at the pool and ate most lunches there. Worked out in the gym a little today. Played a little on the putting green for sexual favors. I shouldn’t have given Holly strokes but it was worth it in the end! Played bingo and we each won a bottle of liquor. Played more water volleyball. Had a wonderful dinner at Piacere, with Pierre and Jennifer from Ottawa, on their eighth trip to Braco. It was our anniversary so I went for the good Champagne. I’ll tell you - in NYC, this dinner would have cost $200 for just us! Excellent food and service (and company!) After some fun watching the after dinner show, went to bed rather early.
Day Four. Monday. I decided to go snorkeling on the prude side while Holly went water skiing down the coast. I made a huge mistake and forgot that there is a break in the rocks to let the boats in and out. I was following the rocks all the way and wound up 100 yards off the middle of the AN beach. Pretty far from where I started. I had to fight the current to get back and although I panicked a little at first, I made it back fine. I was breathing pretty hard though. But, I did see a lot of nice stuff. Back to the AN side where things were heating up. Carl was getting all of us in the mood for fun. He had twenty of us parade over to the prude side with just our towels on. The people there were waiting for us to “drop our towels” but Carl decided against it. He than asked us to fake throwing Valicia (his boss) in the pool. Good fake out but than as we faked Tamika, the boss pushed everyone in the pool, including Tamika! Tamika laughed about being wet and thought it was fun. Back to the AN side for body painting. Sandy painted a bunny on Brian’s arse and it looked like he was eating the carrot when he walked. It was a riot. More volleyball, hot tub, dinner. For us it was French again. The Chilian sea bass is to die for. Back to the AN side for the 10:30 bon fire. Our new friend, Tom, was in rare form (I hope it was rare form!) He couldn’t talk too well by the end of the night. We played a little night volleyball, and ushered Tom to his room. I won’t say what Erin found him doing at 2:00AM. But, I’ll give him credit, he was up by 10:30 the next morning to play volleyball.
Day Five. Tuesday. Finally relaxing now! We have a bunch of regulars eager to play water volleyball twice a day now. They all are waiting there by 11:00. No sense in “going into town” for lunch! More lamb chops! Holly and I started feeding the AN cats. The gray cat is very pleasant. One black and white cat is rather mean and picks on the black cat. They all need feeding. If you have it in you to bring some cat food - please do. Tamika had enough of the prude side and arranged to work the AN side today. She made the mistake of leaving her bikini top by the pool bar which Holly grabbed for some fun later at night. Had dinner at La Pasta with Vladim, from St. Petersburg City, Russia. He had been stressed out and called the travel agent to book two weeks at Braco and left the next day - leaving wife and son behind! Nice, nice guy but very hard to talk with. He did tell two hysterical jokes though. Our first Italian dinner of the stay was fabulous. Service there was much better than in 1999. Went to VM after dinner where we met our friends and decided to go to the 60’s and 70’s dance at the disco. We had Brian walk in with Tamika’s top on. She fell on the floor laughing when she saw him! Later on after I wore it as a headband for one dance, Lyn put it on as a G-String and danced a little. Some folks were just coming in as he was leaving to remove it and the look on their face was, “do we really want to go in there?” LOL! A million laughs, great dancing, and we all headed to the AN pool to cool off and tell jokes. Lyn could tell them all night but Neil had some winners as well! We all left around 2:00AM.
Day Six. Wednesday. Last day in paradise. Found a beautiful black bra by the towel stand today. Turned out to be Sandy’s. She had left it there from our joke telling pool session the night before. Worked out after breakfast. Bob and Annie arranged for us to go out on an AN snorkeling trip. About 13 of us went, with Capt. Morgon at the helm. We went to his private reef. Not too many fish but the coral was nice there. The assistant dive master caught a sea-turtle which I got a photo of. We gave them a nice tip. Back to shore and everyone made their way back to the AN pool for our last day of fun. Volleyball, lamb chops, fun. We watched the mixology class which can be rather interesting on the AN side. It was well attended. I stopped over to see Denton at the prude pool bar and he was bored stiff over there. Went to La Pasta to split a meal with Holly and over to the Beach party to meet the gang. Took photo’s of each other and as a group. Had some drinks at the piano bar before leaving for the AN hot tub to soak and say our good by’s. An older couple from Nebraska was there and the gentleman was hard of hearing and couldn’t remember too well. Lot of laughs! Off to bed at midnight. Had to be up at 5:00AM.
Day Seven. Thursday. After noticing that we had a tan, we had to leave early, but we got to see the sunrise. Easy trip back. Home by 4:30PM. The cats missed us.
Lessons learned... - Arrive on the AM flight and leave on the PM flight to get another day in. - Stop at the sweet shop next to LaPasta more. We only did this twice. - Stay near the AN clubhouse again. We had room 3035 and found it convenient to be near the clubhouse. - Tan ahead of arrival. As much as you want to avoid the sun burn - it always finds you! - The AN side is the only place to hang out. People are nicer for some reason. Some people make the walk everyday, and it really isn’t that long, but I would spend the extra $$$ to be on the scene. - Bring your own soap. There’s doesn’t lather very much. Also, something to scrub off the sun tan lotion.
Got it right this time.... - I booked through David Parker at “All the Way Travel.” I casually compared rates between a few couples and determined that he had the best rates for the time period we were there. - Start up a conversation with people and watch how quickly you make friends. Duh!
Summary... - Had a wonderful time. Is everything perfect? No. Is it worth the money spent? Every cent and more!
Hello to all of our new friends....Gary and Linda, Bob and Brenda, Bob and Annie, Jim and Patrice, Lyn and Natalie, Terry and Jessica, Tom and Erin, Dave and Pat, Quint (Don Mattingly) and Debbie, Brian and Sandy, Pierre and Jennifer (Martha Stewart), Neil and Janet, John and Lisa, Michael from PA. and wife, Russell from England and wife, and Vladim. Thanks to all of the special employees including Tamika (tight ass), Denton, Wayne, Andrea (Baby Girl), Carl, and Tyrone.
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