The Grand Lido Visitors Hangout

My husband, David, and I left the Salisbury Maryland airport on May 9 for the seven days on the other side of heaven, also known as GLSS, to celebrate our 8^th anniversary. Despite the exhortations to arrive two hours before the flight, we checked in about fifteen minutes before boarding, as we usually do. It’s a tiny local airport, and "things" work differently out here, much like "things" work differently in Jamaica! I had been on the same Salisbury to Philadelphia flight the week before, for a business trip, and knew there was no point in languishing in the airport until we had to.

The only changes I noticed, were that passengers were no longer allowed into the security screening area until fifteen minutes before boarding, and only passengers were allowed in the waiting area past security. A welcome change, actually; because at the Philadelphia airport you’d get the occasional panhandler in the passenger area. That’ll put a stop to that, thankfully! Also, there were a couple of National Guardsmen in full gear at the screening checkpoint, who also helped check photo ID’s when actually going out the door to board the plane.

We have to take a little US Air Dash 8 turbo-prop plane north to Philadelphia, before boarding the connecting flight to Montego Bay. Supposedly there have been some routing changes out of our local airport, so US Air will be flying to Reagan National in DC now, so hopefully that will give us the option of a less indirect flight to Montego Bay.

The 9am flight from Philadelphia to MoBay has been eliminated, presumably due to the increased time for the security procedures. So we arrived in Philadelphia about 8:30am, and the flight didn’t leave until 11:39am. Supposedly. There was a delay, and everyone had to re-check in, then they had to bring another plane in…never did find out why. We didn’t leave Philadelphia until 12:30pm.

It was a smooth flight, and jam packed, but anticipation is of course a sweet thing. We arrived in MoBay at about 2:30pm, give or take, Jamaica time, and luckily the immigrations and customs lines were very short. This time, the singers were not there to serenade visitors in the hall.

Amazingly, we were only approached once between the time we got off the plane and the time we boarded the bus, to buy smoke. We’re wise to that one; should we want it, it’s cheaper to buy it at the resort, or for that matter, there’s plenty floating around. Apparently the bus at the SuperClubs check in had left a while back, because of our flight delay, but luckily they had another there for us within 15 minutes.

The infamous bus ride is a must-have experience, at least from our adventurous points of view. It’s kind of like a DisneyWorld ride, but one that you aren’t quite so sure you’ll survive. This time, our bus driver seemed to be obeying the speed limits, whatever they might be. Judging from all the abandoned wrecks along side the road, we surmised that when a serious accident occurs, it is accepted practice to simply leave the ruined car along side the road. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a tow truck there, in three trips.

We told the bus driver NOT to take us to the tourist trinket trap between the airport and Braco, and asked that he stop at a gas station or a regular beer store so we could get beer at normal prices. He stopped at some lounge/bar/tourist trap, and six beers set us back $12. Better than the roadside tourist trap they usually stop at, where it’s $18 a six pack. We let him know that it was a shame he’d decreased his tip by stopping at one of the highway robbers instead of a normal Jamaican store as we’d requested. More we have to spend on the beer, the less he’s going to get!

It was about 5:30pm or so by the time we actually arrived at GLSS, hot, tired, and ready for some free flowing Red Stripe. The cool, fragrant towel they bring you at the check in desk is wonderful. My husband has had surgery on his leg due to a spiral fracture not too long ago, and was ready to sit back and take the pressure off his leg.

We were well aware of the endless steps at GLSS, as we had been assigned there last year on the SuperSurprise, but we’re both normally up to the challenge. Unfortunately, I had booked the trip before the accident happened, and we were concerned we would end up at GLSS. As we had excluded MoBay and Hedo II (we heard these were the two most rundown properties), we didn’t expect we would get GLSS twice in a row! Normally we would have been delighted, other than the fact that it’s a little low key for us. When I spoke to Buddy to find out our SuperSurprise assignment, I mentioned our concern about the steps, given David’s bad leg. He said it should not be a problem; to simply mention it to the front desk and in particular ask for Karen Sweeney.

I won’t go into detail here, as I had already done so on the general message board, but to summarize, we were assigned E-1, which is 22 stairs down from the lobby, and 76 stairs from the main beach and dining areas. Two phone calls and two subsequent visits to the front desk were met with hostility from Teca, despite my assurance that we did not require a room "upgrade," just a "closer" room. I was appalled and mortified that she would tell me, in front of everyone, that we were "just" SuperSurprise customers and therefore could not change rooms for any reason. So I thanked her for her time, and went back down to the beach where my husband was waiting.

Such a rotten way to welcome a repeat guest, and a poor way to demonstrate her customer relations skills. I plan to write a letter to the manager, and the SuperClubs management, although I doubt I will name names. Perhaps that is indeed the new "run of the house" policy although I doubt it, as others there had been actually give "upgrades" they hadn’t even asked for!

So we got down to the business of relaxing and becoming as mellow as the Jamaican sunset. I took on the role of room runner, so he did not have to strain his leg any more than necessary. He’d make exactly one trip down in the morning to the beach bar, and one at night; when it was time to go to bed. I just ran back up to the room for him if we needed anything from the room. You really do get acclimatized to the steps, if in average shape, although it does take a few days.

Our basic, one bedroom, balcony room was larger than your typical Holiday Inn, and with a slightly better view. E-1 has a partial view of the ocean, and looks out over the spa areas, to the left of the fitness pavilion. There was no Ting in the mini-bar this time, which does not bother us; we don’t like it. A relaxing shower was greatly improved by the excellent water pressure from the shower head. It was like a tingly massage, and felt great. I love the juniper scented toiletries they leave for you in the bathroom; I have got to order some!

The heart folded towel on the bed, with the hibiscus flowers was a nice touch, and we were gratified to see that the air conditioner as well as the TV had a remote control, just as in the beachfront suite we had been assigned last trip. The king size bed is such a luxury, as we have just a double bed at home.

We were starved by the time we got there, so we headed to the beach grill for a taste of that jerk chicken. It has changed since last year’s visit; it has been enlarged and expanded, with a good seating area. It is now very similar to Nancy’s Jerk Pit at GL Braco. A few more Red Stripes, and the long, weary trip melted away. It was an early night for us, as the trip had taken its toll. We left home at about 7:20am, and arrived at GLSS at roughly 5:30, so we were ready to crash early.

We noticed that there seemed to be relatively few people this time. Last year, same time, it was nowhere near capacity, but at least there were enough to get some of the social directors’ games going. The usual newlyweds, enjoying the lack of distraction, and some "been there, done that, let’s do it AGAIN!" folks like us…but not many.

I spent most of the time lurking in the pool, and on the beach; but this time I was careful to use plenty of SPF 30 sunscreen. My husband went to play golf, as he did last time. Take your own balls with you! They charge $4 each. You’ll end up spending about $75 to play, by the time you pay for the cart, caddie, rent clubs, and tip everyone from the bus driver to the caddie.

One couple had been told, at the SuperClubs check in desk in MoBay, that their assignment, on the SuperSurprise, had been changed at the last minute from GLSS to the dreaded Breezes Montego Bay! Their travel agent had confirmed it was GLSS, and they have used her extensively, so they trust her. Apparently, in the fine print, SuperClubs can change your resort assignment up to 24 hours before arrival! She was told that there was "nothing that can be done," and she was livid, needless to say. She spent over two hours on the phone to her travel agency, to SC management, you name it, until they switched it back to GLSS where she had been told she was going. They claimed her travel agent had been notified, so she could tell her, but evidently not. Why they would resist, when GLSS was nearly empty, escapes me. I did notice that the confirmation packet I got from Go Classy does not state the name of the resort I had been assigned to. I don’t recall if it did last year or not.

Another new bride had discovered, at the airport, that her birth certificate did not have the raised seal, and she was not permitted to board the plane. She was hysterical, and a sympathetic American Airlines employee felt sorry for her, and took her to an office where she could get the required documents to enter Jamaica. Her honeymoon was saved! Moral of the story is, be sure you have the raised seal on a certified birth certificate, or get a passport.

Many people had a similar comment, that GLSS seemed more like an assisted living facility for the elderly, rather than a happening honeymooner’s paradise. I had to agree; it was pretty dead. It was not exactly lively on last year’s trip, but this time it was positively somnolent. There were only a few scheduled games to liven things up, and the one time we played Pictionary, I was surprised we only played one game of it. Then the staff took the drawing boards and put them away…fun time’s over! I think a few more games would have been welcomed, for those of us who actually wanted to play.

One couple was on the Lido Sampler, and they requested (and got) an early transfer to GLN, in hoped it would be more fun. I assured her, GLB was lots of fun, and I have heard GLN is a lively place too. There were only a few games of Bar Bingo, and no Mixology or other bar games. Too bad. Some of us were considering organizing our own toga party just to liven things up, but all we did was drink more beer. Oh well.

The third and fourth day we did meet some other people who wanted to hang out and party; and we kept it hopping at the beach bar. I didn’t do any snorkeling this time. The beach is not as nice as at GLB, but is adequate. Be sure to being water shoes with you! The rocks can be rough. You can get them cheaply at any Pay Less shoe store. The water seemed colder than it did last year; on the other hand, it was nowhere near as humid, and it only rained at night.

The friendly cats at the Palazzino were missing this year; I only saw a few, on the other end of the resort, and they were all business. These guys must have been assigned to pest catching duty instead of social duties this year. Too bad; I like having them around, makes it a more relaxed atmosphere I think. The birds, however, were even more aggressive; at least the cats helped keep the birds in their place.

The food was splendid as usual; with the typical variety of Jamaican and Continental favorites. Their French toast is wonderful, and croissants, oh yes! The Friday night Gala was fabulous. The set up on the lawn was elegant and very colonial I thought; the pure luxury of it…what a wonderful, beautiful evening it was! We liked the entertainment and spent a very enjoyable evening soaking up the moment. Tuesday night’s Beach Party featured all sorts of barbequed treats; however, the cold dishes were hard to determine as it was not well lit. I don’t take what I can’t identify. Wise policy, apparently, as another couple was quite surprised to find a (dead) frog in her salad. Not being an expert on Jamaican cuisine, I could not help but wonder aloud if perhaps that was part of the dish; but she assured me it was not prepared in a manner consistent with typical frog dishes. Better to find a frog on your fork, than half a frog…they didn’t bring it to anyone’s attention though. Good thing; everyone else might have wanted one too…

The ice carvings and dessert table were absolutely over the top; though perhaps the roasted (whole) pig may have been a little much for the more faint of heart. The head, lips, tail and piggy ears do serve to assure the diner that the meat so presented is indeed swine in origin, although personally I could have accepted their word for it. Good pig, nice pig. A little off the top, please.

I did venture over to the au naturel side, albeit briefly. The beach is less than appealing; full of stones and debris. Something bit me repeatedly; I am still scratching the bites! I was the only bare butt female; and there were only a couple nude older gentlemen…everyone else had clothes on. I found this disturbing, and felt that "clothing optional" should be changed to "clothing prohibited." I felt like the fully clothed individuals lurking in the shade should have gone back to the other side, if all they were going to do was watch. So I made it a very brief visit. I was just too uncomfortable. I feel that if people are too uncomfortable with their own bodies to disrobe, then they should not make others uncomfortable too. Just my opinion.

I couldn’t deal with the sugar syrup used to make almost every mixed drink and frozen drink at the bar, for more than a couple days. I was just sugared out. I wish they’d use regular sweet/sour mix like bars here do. It makes a far better drink, although I am sure is a little more expensive. My husband owns a bar in a resort town, so next time, we’ll just bring some with us for a mixer. So I switched to Red Stripe exclusively after a few days.

All too soon, the trip came to an end. The bus left at 12 noon, on Thursday May 16, and we were sorry to leave but ready to go home. I called the front desk, and they were kind enough to send a box lunch of sandwiches and fruit to take on the bus for the trip, as breakfast was long over and lunch is not served until 12:30pm, after we were to leave.

There is now a table set up in front of the US Air check in desk in MoBay, where luggage is now searched by hand. And every time we exited one area to go to another, it seemed we had to have our photo ID out to show. In Philadelphia, if you had metal shanks in your shoes you had to take them off and put them through the scanner. Last week’s Philadelphia trip was different; everyone had to take off their shoes and place them on the scanner conveyor belt!

I got a margarita "to go" in the insulated cup I had brought, and I was glad for it. Just one last taste of Jamaica, lasted almost until Philadephia. 32 ounces of margarita later, I was pretty relaxed. We got home shortly after 11pm, tired and happy, although talking about our next trip and what we’ll do different. I think we will only exclude Breezes MoBay, as my husband likes to golf so of we get BRB he’ll be right there. And I think perhaps we will try TimAir, at least one way…but whether to do so on the trip there, to get there quicker, or to do so on the trip home, to stretch out precious time there, we haven’t decided.

I can’t say I’d be overjoyed to draw GLSS again, on the SS, after the sour experience at the front desk. But next year my husband should be all healed up, and the steps should not be an issue. We hope to got GLB again, or Negril! More fun. It’s all irie, mon.